Heroes vs. Villains/Transcript
This is the episode script for Connor Lacey's Super Adventures of Total Drama All-Stars. (Fade to inside a prison, CHEF HATCHET and a guard walking past a row of prison cells, Chef is carrying a manila folder. Chef walks past 2 cells containing a one-eyed prisoner and what looks like the Insane Psycho Killer with a Hook) Psycho Killer: I’M INNOCENT I TELL YA! INNOCENT!!! (The one-eyed prisoner makes kissy faces at Chef and the Guard. Chef’s face grows increasingly concerned when he hears a familiar voice) Voice: (Off-screen) And the Crusty Cockroaches have a big lead over the Soiled Stinkbugs! Prisoner: (Off-screen) Cram it, McLean! (Psychotic laughter) (Pan over to reveal none other that CHRIS MCLEAN, wearing an orange jumpsuit locked behind a glass door in a highly secured cell familiar looking map of Camp Wawanakwa hanging on the wall, overlooking two bugs staring at each other) Chris: Lightning slips past Duncan, and the heat is on! Yeah, look at that! That's what I'm talking about! (Finally notices Chef, glaring at him) Well, well, well, look who finally came to visit me after a whole year. Chef: C'mon. You've finished your sentence for dumping toxic waste. Chris: (Pouting) Whatever, think I'll stay right here; got everything I need. Including (Pulls out a cashew nut with a drawing of Chef’s face on it) Chef 2.0! I made him from a cashew. (Chef slips the manila folder through the slot into Chris’ cell; Chris grabs it suspiciously) What's this? Chef: Yo contract. The Producers green lit another season, so you in? Chris: (Smiles) it is on! (Chris’ smile twinkles) (Opening theme begins and ends) (Zoom in to Camp Wawanakwa, cut to Chris on the still rickety Dock of Shame) Chris: Welcome to Connor Lacey's Super Adventures of Total Drama All-Stars. After my involuntary yearlong vacation... I really need to be in a familiar environment, surrounded by the people I love ...to hurt. (Evil laugh) It's a condition of my parole. Except for the hurt part, eh, that's all McLean! (Strolls down to the edge of the dock, where the Drama Machine from season 3 is waiting, along with a familiar briefcase) So, I'm bringing back 14 TD All-Stars to battle it out in the most dangerous, death-defying, One Million Dollar competition, ever! (The robot holds up the open case, where the wind blows a few bills away. Chris then addresses an incoming helicopter) and here they are now! From Revenge of The Island, Say hello to... (The door to the chopper reveals an apprehensive looking MIKE) Chris: -Multiple Mike! (A hand shoves Mike off the chopper) AKA, Chester, (Mike gasps, switching personalities) –Svetlana (He gasps, switching personalities again) Vito, (His hair slicks back and his eyes narrow) and Manitoba. (Mike seemingly reverts to normal, though Manitoba's scream of “Crikey!” gives him away. He splashes into the water) Mike's crush, pushover turned powerhouse, Zoey. (ZOEY looks worried for Mike) Zoey: Huh, Mike! (Dives) Chris: Athletic non-supporter, Lightning! (LIGHTNING, with his hair still white, looks down at Zoey) Lightning: You call that a dive? Watch this! (Prepares to dive) Sha-ugh! (Gets booted off by Chef’s foot) Chris: Bubble-Boy brainiac, Cameron. (Chef holds CAMERON by his hoodie) Cameron: This is highly illogical! (Chef tosses Cameron out the door) Chris: The tip-top techno alien user, Ireland Rebel X! (Whispers) Alias, Connor Lacey. Ireland Rebel X: Ireland Rebels, assemble! Chris: The Decepticon-slash-Legion of Cartoon Villains leader, Galvatron! Galvatron (G1): Legionnaires, prepare for our next competition. The Legion of Cartoon Villains: Yes, sir! (The Legion of Cartoon Villains followed Galvatron (G1) down) Chris: Galvatron's partners in the series, Lokar, Team Radikor, Team Imperiaz, Team Battacor, Team Hiverax, Granny Goodness, the Female Furies, Eclipso, Dark Opal, Lena Luthor and Brainiac! Lokar: Bring it on. Granny Goodness: Right behind ya! Chris: Ireland Rebel X's teammates, the Ireland Rebel Alliance! Lightning McQueen, Mater, Guido, Luigi, Sheriff, Fillmore, Sarge, Lizzie, Sally, Flo, Ramone, Red, Finn McMissile, Holley Shiftwell, Doc Hudson, Cruz Ramirez, Cheetor, Rattrap, Rhinox, Dinobot, Tigatron, Airazor, Silverbolt, Blackarachnia, Depth Charge, Nightscream, Botanica, Sari Sumdac, Bumblebee, Sideswipe, Strongarm, Grimlock, Fixit, Drift, Jetstorm, Slipstream, Mewtwo, Genie, Hoopa, Good Fairy, Stay Puft, Slimer, C-3PO and R2-D2, Zilla, Aisling, Darth Vader and Boba Fett, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Jack Skellington and Zero, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Splinter, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Lady Palutena, Pit, Ninjor, Robo Knight, Ahsoka Tano, Captain Rex, Clone Troopers, Zordon and Alpha 5, Red Genesect, The Ghostbusters, Shenron, Elsa the Snow Queen, Joanna the Goanna, N, Anthea and Concordia, Spider-Man, Black Cat, Chaos, Tikal the Echidna, The Newtralizer, Moonlight Shimmer, Godzilla, Samurai Jack, Ashi, Iago, the Teen Titans, Buzzie, Flaps, Dizzy, and Ziggy The Vultures, Jiminy Cricket, Zazu, Kronk Pepikrankenitz, Zhane, Korra, Mako, Bolin, Asami Sato, Jean-Bob, Speed, Puffin, Jeremy the Crow, Karone, Barry Allen alias The Flash, Mushu, Cri-Kee,Tahu, Gali, Lewa, Onua, Pohatu, Kopaka, Mata Nui, Vakama, Nokama, Matau, Whenua, Onewa, Nuju, Jaller, Hahli, Kongu, Matoro, Hewkii, Nuparu, Acker, Kiina, Gresh, Berix, Tarix, Vastus, Kai, Cole, Jay, Zane, Nya, Lloyd Garmadon, Sensei Wu, P.I.X.A.L., the Operation Overdrive Rangers, Sentinel Knight, The Human Mane 5, Draculaura, Frankie Stein, Clawdeen Wolf, Cleo de Nile, Deuce Gorgan, Ghoulia Yelps, Lagoona Blue, Abbey Bominable, Supergirl, Batgirl, Wonder Woman, Bumblebee of Super Hero High, Katana, Poison Ivy of Super Hero High, Harley Quinn of Super Hero High, Starfire of Super Hero High, Frost, Hawkgirl, Miss Martian, Catwoman of Super Hero High, Lady Shiva, Cheetah of Super Hero High, Star Sapphire, Platinum of Super Hero High, Cyborg of Super Hero High, Hal Jordan, Beast Boy of Super Hero High, Ky Stax, Maya, Boomer, the Fusion Fighters, Team Blue Flare, Jeremy Belpois, Ulrich Stern, Odd Della Robbia, Yumi Ishiyama and Aelita Schaeffer. Platinum (DCSHG): Lyoko Warriors, welcome to Total Drama! Aelita Schaeffer: Whoa! (The Ireland Rebel Alliance fall down) Chris: The former leader of the Decepticons, the leader of the Reform Squad and Optimus Prime's brother, Megatron! Megatron (Prime): All right, Reform Squad. Let's reform some new arrivals! Chris: And, his Reform Squad! The Reform Squad: Yes sir! Chris: The leader of the Autobots and the Legion of Cartoon Heroes, Optimus Prime! Optimus Prime (G1): Legion of Cartoon Heroes, roll out! The Legion of Cartoon Heroes: Yes, sir! Chris: The Ghostboy of Amity Park, Danny Fenton/Phantom! Danny Fenton: Going ghost! (changes to Danny Phantom and flies out) Chris: The group of tiny heroes, the Mini Force Rangers! Volt, Sammy, Max and Lucy! Volt: Mini Force, transform! The Mini Force Rangers: Transform! (They changed and went down to the water) Chris: The overconfident Next Gen racer, Jackson Storm! Jackson Storm: It's time for the next generation to rise! Chris: The enemy of the Mini Force Rangers, Pascal! Pascal (Miniforce): You're going down, Miniforce! Chris: The new members of the Rebel Alliance, the Freemakers! Rowan Freemaker: It's time for the Freemakers to build again! Kordi Freemaker: Wait for us! Zander Freemaker: Zander Freemaker, superstar diving guy! RO-GR (Roger): Wait for me! Chris: The Sith enemy of the Freemakers, Naare! Naare: Payback time. Chris: Next, I give to you a pair of Turbo team, Max and his partner Steel! Max (Max Steel): Let's go Turbo! Chris: The old enemy of Max's father Ax Steel himself, Makino! Makino: The world will be mine! Chris: The duo of heroes from Paris, it's Ladybug and Cat Noir! Ladybug: Okay! Cat Noir: Let's go. Chris: The enemy of Ladybug and Cat Noir and the controller of the Akumatized villains, Hawk Moth! Hawk Moth: I just know that I'm going to get Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous. Chris: Arias mutant loving gamer, Sam. Sam: Not cool! Chris: Two Toxic Mutants, Bigs and Bluefur! Bigs: Ready? Bluefur: Ready! Chris: A group of toxic heroes, the Toxic Crusaders! The Toxic Avenger: Let's do it, gang! Toxic Crusaders: Yes, sir! Chris: Challenge throwing dirt farmer, Scott! (SCOTT out of the trauma chair from season 4 clings to Chef’s leg in fear. Until Chef pries him off and tosses him out. Chef walks back and grabs JO) Chris: Bossy bruiser, Jo, who dominated until her underling turned on her. (JO resists Chef shoving her out, and shoves him back) Jo: You're a dead man, McLean! (Chef body-slams her off the copter) (Chris chuckles) Chris: And, from the original cast... Cranky know-it-all CIT, Courtney! (Chef walks out, carrying COURTNEY by her ankle) Courtney: This is not in my contract! (Chef glares and drops Courtney) Chris: Courtney's bestie turned boyfriend stealer, Gwen! (Chef carries GWEN over his shoulders, tosses her down too) Gwen: (Free-falling) He said he wasn't her boyfriend at the tiiime! Chris: Broody bad boy, Duncan. Duncan: (Free-falling, not even looking like he cares) Bring it on! Chris: Devious Diva, Heather! Heather: (Free-falling) I hate Chriiiis! Chris: The baddies of Monster High, Monica, Toralei Stripe, Nefera de Nile, Van Hellscream, Valetine, Bartleby Farnum, Rocco, Lilith Van Hellscream, Moanatella Ghostier, Djinni "Whisp" Grant, Lord Stoker and Revenant! Toralei Stripe: Time to cause trouble. Chris: The perfect singing man, the Music Meister! The Music Meister: (Vocalising) Chris: The friends of Connor Lacey and Frankie Stein, Jackson Jekyll/Holt Hyde, Spectra Vondergeist, Clawd Wolf, Operetta, Heath Burns, Robecca Steam, Rochelle Goyle, Venus McFlytrap, Gigi Grant, Twyla, Skelita Calavaras, Jinafire Long, and the rest of the Monster High teens. Jinafire Long: Hold on to your hats! Chris: The sonic screaming singer, Black Canary! Black Canary: I'm back. Chris: Chris: Loveable lamebrain, Lindsay. Lindsay: (Free-falling, flapping her arms) I'm flying! (Stops flapping and screams) Chris: Super fan, Sierra! Total Drama's number one stalker- Uh, blogger! Sierra: For Cody! (Cannonballs, sending the other contestants scattering, and causing a slightly less massive splash) Chris: (with a more malicious grin) Feral freakshow, Ezekiel! (Chef drops a still green and snarling EZEKIEL by his hoodie) Contestants: What? (Lightning says it late) (Ezekiel plummets, but is then grabbed by a plunger) Chris: (laughing) Kidding! (The robot retracts the plunger) No way is that guy coming back again. (Snaps his fingers, causing the robot to fire off the plunger, Ezekiel screaming as he is rocketed to the other side of the island) Chris: (sighs happily) Man, it's great to be back! (Cut to the coast of the beach, everyone washed up on shore groaning in pain) Chris: (Walks along the beach, the robot wheeling behind him) Greetings, old friends. Heather: (coughs up a starfish, throws it away) I am not your friend! Lindsay: Aw, somebody misses her Hunny-Bunny! (Hugging Heather’s head) Heather: Who, Alejandro? As if! (Shoves Lindsay off) I'm glad he isn't back, that handsome jerk. Duncan: yeah, whatever you say, “Hunny-bunny.” (He and Gwen snicker, Courtney glaring at them) Courtney: (Now glaring at Chris) You're gonna pay for my dry cleaning. Chris: No I'm not; new contracts, 'member? (Confessional: Courtney) Courtney: Same old Chris, same old disgusting island. (Flicks a fly out of her way) What was I thinking? (Confessional ends) Chris: In fact, we've got a lot of big changes for this season. For one, the island is now 100% toxic waste free! Sam: What? I only came back here to get up close and personal with some toxic goop. So, I can become a kick-butt mutant like my gal, Dakota. Chris: Gee, too bad. Guess it's gonna be all pain no gain for you, huh? (Chuckles) (He and the robot move to a large TV screen) On the upside, I've upgraded the accommodations. (The TV shows one of the normal cabins) This season, the losers still have to sleep in the crappy old cabins. (The campers moan) but, on the plus side, breakfast will be delivered to said cabin personally specially prepared by Chef! (Owen screams in terror and passes out. The TV then reveals a larger and nicer hotel) But, the winners get to stay in the all-new, eco-friendly McLean Spa Hotel! Complete with butler, hot tub, and 24 hour masseuse. (Mike, Cameron, Scott, and Heather cheer) And in honor of your All-Star status, I'm dividing you into teams based on your past performances: (Grins) Heroes vs. Villains. (Confessional: Heather) Heather: Obviously I'll be on the villain’s team. And I'll be running it by lunch. (Confessional: Gwen) Gwen: Heroes vs. Villains? (Sighs) Guess Duncan and I won't be on the same team, unless Chris considers Duncan a hero. (Chuckles) Yeah right. (Confessional ends) Chris: The Legion of Cartoon Villains, Lokar, Team Radikor, Team Imperiaz, Team Battacor, Team Hiverax, Granny Goodness, the Female Furies, Eclipso, Dark Opal, Lena Luthor, Brainiac, Naare, Monica, Toralei Stripe, Nefera de Nile, Van Hellscream, Valetine, Bartleby Farnum, Rocco, Lilith Van Hellscream, Moanatella Ghostier, Djinni "Whisp" Grant, Lord Stoker, Revenant, The Music Meister, Bigs, Bluefur, Pascal, Vlad Plasmius, Jackson Storm, Makino, Hawk Moth, Heather, Duncan, Lightning, Jo, Scott, and Gwen. (The robot tosses Gwen by Duncan) From now on, you're the Villainous Vultures! Lightning: (Cheering) Sha-team! Gwen: (In shock) What? Why am I on the villains’ team? Courtney: (Glaring, standing tall) Because you stole my boyfriend and became the new Heather! Chris: (Smirks) Yeah, what she said. Galvatron (G1): Well, I guess you'll have to do, for now. Villains: Agreed! Gwen: But I've done so many good things! I'm not a villain; I'm nice! Duncan: (Puts his hand on her shoulder) Being bad is cool! And now we're on the same team, so that's good, right? Gwen: (Slumps over) I guess... (Confessional: Duncan) Duncan: (Moaning) Oh man, I only came back for Gwen! She better not sulk the whole time, or I might as well be dating Courtney. (Shivers) yeah right. (Confessional: Gwen) Gwen: (Sighs) Honestly, I’m happy that Duncan and I are on the same team, really I am! He’s been nothing but great to me since the kiss in London. I just wish it didn’t mean labeling me as a villain! I mean ok I haven’t always had the best attitude but really, who would you rather be caught in an alley with, Heather or me? (Confessional ends) Chris: Ireland Rebel X, the Ireland Rebel Alliance, the Legion of Cartoon Heroes, the Reform Squad, Rowan Freemaker, Kordi Freemaker, Zander Freemaker, RO-GR (Roger), the Monster High students, Black Canary, the Toxic Crusaders, The Mini Force Rangers, Max, Steel, Ladybug, Cat Noir, Danny Phantom, Mike, Zoey, Cameron, Sam, Courtney, Lindsay, and Sierra, (The robot wheels Sierra over to the heroes) you're the Heroic Hamsters! Courtney: Excuse me, how are hamsters heroic? Chris: It was that, or the Heroic Hippos. Courtney: (Defensively) Hamsters it is! Jo: Wait a minute; they have 7 people to our 6! No fair! Chris: I needed the seat on the plane for that Ezekiel prank! (Jo glares at him) Fine, you can have the robot. (Pushes a button on the remote, sending the robot wheeling and beeping over to the villains) Scott: I thought your robot could talk. Chris: (shrugged) Meh, the communications chip cracked while I was in the hooskow. Lindsay: (To Sierra) Was that English? (The robot wheels over to Heather) Heather: (Pushing the robot away) Keep your distance, toaster! (Confessional: Heather) Heather: (Shuddering) Ugh, there is something about that robot I just don't like! (Confessional: Big Barda) Big Barda: When that robot walked up to Heather, I could tell there's something familiar about it. As if that robot is really someone we faced in World-Tour. But, it couldn't be. Or could it? (Confessional ends) Chris: (Standing by the TV) This year's challenges all nod to classics from the past, but with harsh new twists to make this the toughest Total Drama challenge ever! Your first challenge? Find the key to the spa hotel, and you'll do it in a homage to Total Drama's first ever challenge. Cliff diving into water infested with ravenous sharks! (Scott gulps) (Confessional: Scott) Scott: (In a fetal position, shaking in fear) Ooh... Ok, so maybe I have a phobia of sh-sh-sharks... Can you blame me? (Confessional ends) Chris: (Motions to the monitor, as Chef kicks an intern off the cliff, sending him into the lake, swimming to grab the key, and making it back to the hotel) Once you dive into the water, try to avoid the sharks long enough to snag a key. And, choose wisely. Only one of those suckers is the real deal. Assuming you live long enough to reach dry land, a teammate will drive you to the hotel in one of the baby carriages from Season 3's 'Race Through Central Park'. (Walks over to a buggy driven by an intern, jumps in as the intern starts the buggy) First team to unlock the spa door wins. And, someone from team loser will be going home tonight. Meet me at the base of the cliff in fifteen minutes. Chop, chop! (The buggy drives off) Mike: (Calling out) Wait, shouldn't we change into our swimsuits or something first? Chris: (Shouting back) Sorry, no time! (Cut to the teams walking through the woods, the heroes ahead of the villains, and the robot tagging alongside Heather) Heather: Ugh, I said, keep away from me! Danny Fenton: Whoa! It's nice to meet the legendary Ireland Rebel Alliance. Sammy: I agree. Sam: So, Sierra, what brought you back? Sierra: Well, I wanna win for Cody! We would have won last time, if I didn't accidentally blow up the plane... (Rubs her arm sheepishly) Sam: (awkwardly) Oh yeah… well your hair grew back nicely. Sierra: Thanks! It's tough to be apart from my man, but it's too dangerous for him here! (Confidently) And I'm sure I can handle it long enough to win the million! (Confessional: Sierra) Sierra: (Trying not to sob) I miss my Cody-bear... (She puts her head in her hands) So much! (Confessional ends) Heather: (shoving Jo out of her way) Excuse me! Jo: Watch it, Old Heather! Heather: You watch it, Newbie. Galvatron (G1): Will you two stop arguing? Gwen: Ugh, guys; just because Chris labeled us villains, doesn't mean we have to act like villains. We're a team; we should work together as a team! (The villains all give agreeing responses) (Confessional: Heather) Heather: (Scoffs) no way is that going to happen. I- (Confessional: Jo) Jo: Don't trust- (Confessional: Duncan) Duncan: (Pointing to the camera) Anyone- (Confessional: Scott) Scott: On this- (Confessional: The Robot) (The Robot just beeps twice) (Confessional: Lightning) Lightning: Team! (Confessional: Galvatron (G1) Galvatron (G1): But, when- (Confessional: Lashina) Lashina: It comes- (Confessional: Zane Radikor) Zane Radikor: to getting- (Confessional: Naare) Naare: Revenge- (Confessional: Toralei Stripe) Toralei Stripe: On- (Confessional: The Music Meister) The Music Meister: Ireland Rebel X- (Confessional: Bluefur) Bluefur: And, his friends- (Confessional: Hawk Moth) Hawk Moth: Then, so be it. (Confessional: Gwen) Gwen: (Smiling) Huh, I think that went well. (The screen splits to reveal all of them laughing, the villains (excluding Gwen) with fire behind them) (Confessional ends) Gwen: (Notices Courtney glaring at her) Ugh, Courtney keeps glaring at me like she's trying to set me on fire! Duncan: (Smirks) I'll give her a glare back for ya. (Glares back at Courtney, who just turns away) Uh hello? Courtney? (Looks concerned, rubbing the back of his head) Hey? (Confessional: Duncan) Duncan: Uh, I'm used to having girls yell at me, even punch me, but blank me? That-that's just wrong! How am I supposed to mess with her for messing with Gwen if she ignores me messing with her?! (Realizes what he just said) Pfft- I mean, whatever. (Confessional ends) Lindsay: (Whispers to Courtney) Psst, I think Duncan wants you to yell at him, y'know, for old times' sake. Courtney: What's the point, he never listens. Besides, it's over between us. He's a bad boy; I knew it couldn't last forever. But Gwen, I thought we were friends. (Sighs) Last time I make that mistake. Lindsay: (Gasps. Stops and shakes Courtney) you know how to stop making mistakes? Teach me! (The campers are now all lined up on a beach, the villains standing in front of a red baby stroller, the heroes in front of a yellow stroller) Chris: (Flies in from his jetpack, laughing) greetings, All-Stars! (The jetpack blows sand in everyone’s faces, making them wince and cough. Chris lands in between the strollers) Here are your carriages: blood red for the Villainous Vultures, and purest gold for the Heroic Hamsters. You've got thirty seconds to pick your carriage drivers. Starting... Now! Mater: Me, me! I'll do it! Ireland Rebel X: Okay, Mater! So much better than a person with hands! Courtney: That way, it would be more quicker. Scott: (Grabs onto the bar of the Villains’ carriage) I’ll drive! Jo: (Grabs onto the bar of the Villains’ carriage) No, I’ll drive! Lightning: Sha-please! You're the slowest go-kart driver ever! Jo: but I'm also the shopping cart racing circuit champion! (Confessional: Jo) Jo: (Smirking) No I'm not. I just said that because- (Confessional: Lightning) Lightning: Gotta respect championship status. Jo drives. (Confessional ends) (Lightning carries Scott away on his shoulders) Scott: aw c’mon!! Gwen: (Walks to Jo) But, Jo, wouldn't you make a better diver since you're so athletic? Jo: Nobody tells me what to do, Gothball! And don't even try to kiss me. Gwen: (Gasps) what?! (Confessional: Gwen) Gwen: After three seasons of kindness, I'm reduced to evil kisser status? For the last time, Duncan and Courtney were over before he and I started! …Well Duncan thought they were over anyway. Point is you can't steal a boyfriend if the boy is free! (Confessional ends) Chris: (Looking towards the Heroes) Ten seconds! Cameron: (To Zoey) You can do it. Zoey: (To Mike) Maybe you should do it. Lightning McQueen: (sighs) I'll do it. Courtney: Ugh, Lindsay will do it! (Shoves Lindsay into the carriage, where Lindsay falls in face first) Chris: Ok, everyone but Jo and Lindsay, up the cliff you go! (Points towards the cliff) (Cut to the top of the hill, where Chris is somehow waiting for them as they arrive out of breath) Lightning: Sha-first! (Slides into view, not even winded, everyone else following behind him)